"IT" is Always There

October was wild, 
 
I've been on the road for weeks trekking between NY and LA, mapping out the year to come and meeting powerful leaders at Esalen Institute,Burning Man, and... Delta Airlines. It was all incredible, but it wasn't all easy.
 
I hit some walls. I questioned my direction. I've been struggling with my practice, trying to go deeper and asking questions like, what's blocking my willingness to surrender myself to my surroundings and just BE ?  where is fear showing up from deep within my heart, and where is it taking me? (Fear of being stranded, of not having a home). Who can I trust? 
 
I'd been researching vision quests, and was lucky enough to have my Big Sur native friend Kodiak guide me to a secluded place in the hills where I was to meditate for 3 days & nights sitting in a 12 foot circle with nothing but water, a tent and yoga mat.
 
It felt like a right of passage. An initiation that I can’t express. I did my time, and it was profound and challenging. A powerful experience that has me noticing in new ways. 
 
Out in Big Sur those 3 days... There was nothing to distract me from looking honestly at myself. 
 
I pried my heart open. 
 
I felt around in the cracks, in the dark parts of my identity where I linger on false appearances and interferences that distract me from the quiet insistence of a feeling deep within my gut. That yearning to be forever in love and in respect for the planet because I landed on it for a reason and it's on me to figure out what that is. Beneath all that, fear. 
 
We all have the opportunity and community to turn around and wake up what is felt by the unseen eye. We can all peer over that edge, alone and hungry in the middle of the woods or riding home on a crowded subway.
 
Whatever is lurking deep within you, deep within the cracks of your subconscious – when you find it, you can use as fuel. You can ignite it with your intention and let it it burn away the frayed edges within you, cleanse your soul with the element of fire. Like a tool, you can use it to learn, to create, to reap, to renew.
 
As the days get shorter and the night gets dark, you can practice calling upon this energy when you need warmth, and a light.
 
 It's always there.

 

 

 

 

October was wild, 

 

I've been on the road for weeks trekking between NY and LA, mapping out the year to come and meeting powerful leaders at Esalen Institute,Burning Man, and... Delta Airlines. It was all incredible, but it wasn't all easy.

 

I hit some walls. I questioned my direction. I've been struggling with my practice, trying to go deeper and asking questions like, what's blocking my willingness to surrender myself to my surroundings and just BE ?  where is fear showing up from deep within my heart, and where is it taking me? (Fear of being stranded, of not having a home). Who can I trust? 

 

I'd been researching vision quests, and was lucky enough to have my Big Sur native friend Kodiak guide me to a secluded place in the hills where I was to meditate for 3 days & nights sitting in a 12 foot circle with nothing but water, a tent and yoga mat.

 

It felt like a right of passage. An initiation that I can’t express. I did my time, and it was profound and challenging. A powerful experience that has me noticing in new ways. 

 

Out in Big Sur those 3 days... There was nothing to distract me from looking honestly at myself. 

 

I pried my heart open. 

 

I felt around in the cracks, in the dark parts of my identity where I linger on false appearances and interferences that distract me from the quiet insistence of a feeling deep within my gut. That yearning to be forever in love and in respect for the planet because I landed on it for a reason and it's on me to figure out what that is. Beneath all that, fear. 

 

We all have the opportunity and community to turn around and wake up what is felt by the unseen eye. We can all peer over that edge, alone and hungry in the middle of the woods or riding home on a crowded subway.

 

Whatever is lurking deep within you, deep within the cracks of your subconscious – when you find it, you can use as fuel. You can ignite it with your intention and let it it burn away the frayed edges within you, cleanse your soul with the element of fire. Like a tool, you can use it to learn, to create, to reap, to renew.

 

As the days get shorter and the night gets dark, you can practice calling upon this energy when you need warmth, and a light.

 

 

Posted on November 5, 2015 and filed under META Method.